I was so frustrated with my old cable Internet provider that I wrote this little fairytale recounting the events that led to my eventual disconnect.  Please enjoy.

There once was a land called Philhousia and therein lived a happy plump little king named King Philip of Philhousia.  King Philip was a wonderful ruler and all of his devoted subjects adored him.  He was a benevolent dictator and was graciously demanding.  King Philip had some querks about him.  There were certain things that were taboo in the land.  One such thing was the touching of the royal sceptre known as the remote.  None of the subjects were to touch the remote unless given special permission.  Only Queen Amy could wield the sceptre without express permission from the king.  Another taboo was the distrubing of the force known across the land a the “Internet connection”.  No one was to do anything that might disturb this force.  Any and all such disturbances were considered traiterous.

The force known as “Internet connection” was a special power given to King Philip by the wizard known as Knology I.  Knology I was a powerful wizard who provided many in the land of Philhousia and even unto the farthest reaches of TechWorld.  Knology I also provided the force that gave the sceptre its power of the box known to all as Big Screen Television.  Without that power, the demon known as “fuzz” controled the Big Screen Television.  Even the carrier pidgeons, then referred to as phones, were powered by Knology I’s unwavering magical ability.

Then, one day a dark cloud took over the sky.  Rain began to fall on the land.  This was not your average storm.  It was apparent to all that there was something amiss in the land of Philhousia.  All across the land there were disturbances in the force provided to the King by Knology I.  The king quickly sent a carrier pidgeon to Knology I and inquired of the disturbances and the storm that had swallowed Philhousia.  Knology I denied any knowledge of the storm until it was obvious that he no longer supported the king.  The king ordered that Knology I no longer provide him his life-supporting force.  Knology I was banished from the kingdom forever on this day.  The king ordered that from that point on, no one was to speak of the evil Knology again.

Eventually the king discovered a second wizard, more powerful than the first.  This wizard’s name was Charter II.  Charter II was once nothing more than a freak that travelled around with the carnival.  He had grown into a mighty wizard and knew of the force that Knology I had provided to the king and his servants.  So, the king made a decree that Charter II would become the new provider of the force.  Charter II agreed to serve the king faithfully and they all lived happily ever after…or did they.

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Filed under: Internet, Personal, Technology by Philip Williams